Harry Potter & the Melodrama of Hermione's Doom
by Nohbdy
Summary: The REAL reason why no one writes melodramas any more. Who here doesn't know what a melodrama is? ::people raise hands:: Right. Think about a story in which a girl gets tied to a RR track. THAT IS A MELODRAMA. now, please r/r. please?????


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HARRY POTTER AND THE DISCLAIMER OF DEATH

Alright, so it might not be "The disclaimer of death" but it is the disclaimer of EMINENT PERIL!

Anyway, here it is: I do not own Harry Potter, nor his classmates, nor teachers, not parental figures, nor school that the aforementioned attend. (Doesn't that sound nice?)

Kayara owns herself, but she is not in this fic…. My plot line owns itself. Yes, yes. It is a living, breathing entity that has self-worth. My inspiration comes from the Mystical Voice! ALL BOW DOWN AND SING THE SONG OF PRAISE! ::starts chanting:: Mystical voice: ENOUGH ALREADY! JUST GET ON WITH THE FAN FIC. YOU'VE TORTURED YOUR READERS AND ME LONG ENOUGH!

Harry Potter and the Melodrama of Hermione's Doom

Draco Malfoy and Hermione Granger were talking fervently in the Great Hall. "GIVE ME YOUR GOD DAMN HOMEWORK!" shouted Malfoy.

"I won't. You have no right to ask me for that!" retorted Hermione.

"Yes I do. But, I might let you off the hook if you promise to go to the dance with me." Hermione looks at him, aghast. "I… I promised Ron I'd go with him!" she cried.

"Why do you waste your time on that stupid lout? Like he's could ever give you the tings you want most? He's the sixth son of the poorest family in the wizarding world!" Hermione slaps him, and Ron walks over. "Leave her alone, Malfoy. She's MY girlfriend." He then takes Hermione by the hand and walks her back to the common room.

"Yes, yes. Go on, little Hermione. I'll get you soon enough," muttered Malfoy, rubbing his hands together evilly.

"Good thing they never took down those spells guarding the Sorceror's Stone, isn't it?" Malfoy asked Hermione, who was tied up in the Devil's Snare. "YOU ARE SICK, MALFOY! REALLY, REALLY SICK!" she screamed.

Meanwhile, in the class we all know as "Potions", Harry and Ron are awaiting their friend, Hermione, and their not-so-friendly classmate, Draco Malfoy. "Where in the world could she be?" inquired Harry to the air, which did not know the answer. "Yes, I wonder," mused Ron silently.

After another two classes, Ron and Harry started getting worried. Then, Malfoy strolled into the Great Hall and joined the Slytherins as if nothing had ever happened. "What was he up to?" thought Ron. Harry just sneered in his direction, oblivious to Ron's pondering.

After supper, Malfoy did NOT head down to the dungeon. Instead, he made straight for the third floor hallway. Of course, now that nothing was being hidden there, it was not at all dangerous. Or so Ron thought. Walking quietly, Ron followed Malfoy through the trapdoor.

Don't you just hated it when it says:

TO BE CONTINUED….

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Ron jumped through the trapdoor, relieved that Hagrid had been kind enough to remove both Fluffy. He then heard Hermione and Malfoy's voices. From what he could tell, Hermione was trying to curse Malfoy. He wondered briefly whether or not Hermione had her wand. Then, he felt his pockets for his own wand. Relief rushed through him as he felt the wood in his fingers.

He then fell (after what seemed forever) right next to Hermione and Malfoy. Malfoy was laughing like some insane person (like usual), and Hermione seemed relatively busy with the Devil's Snare. "Help, Ron!" she said to him, as another tendril rapped around her arm. Ron took a step forward to aid Hermione, but Malfoy grabbed him by the arm. Roughly, Malfoy turned Ron to face him. "Oh no you don't, Weasel. Hermione here has a lesson to learn. Never, ever, ever get in the way of a Malfoy. Bad things happen to those who do. You should know that, Weasel. Or have you forgotten your Uncle Chris, the Auror?" Ron winced. "My Uncle Chris was cursed to death. Are you insinuating that your family had something to do with it?" he asked, his teeth on edge.

"Maybe we did, maybe we didn't. All I am saying is that you are about to end up the same way your uncle did. That is, if you don't get out now and leave Hermione to me," Malfoy sneered.

"I'd like to point out that Hermione can choose who she would like to go to the dance with. It is up to neither you nor I, Draco. Now, let her go!"

"I'd LOVE to see you make me, Weasel!"

"Okay, I will!" Hermione chirped in, "Ron! Be careful! It does no good to go to the dance with a guy in the Hospital Wing!"

"Don't worry. I'll save you, Hermione." (Sorry, I couldn't help myself) So, Hermione was left with little else to do, seeing as she was wandless, then to sit back, be strangled by the Devil's Snare, and watch as Malfoy and Ron battled it out. Malfoy came in quick with a Leg Locker, but Ron was ready for him and performed a Blocking Charm at the same instant. Ron then retaliated with a Tarantella. Once Malfoy had stopped dancing, he performed a powerful Tickling Charm. While laughing, Ron managed to Body-Bind his adversary.

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"EXSPELLIARMUS!" Ron bellowed. The wand flew from Malfoy's stiff fingers. Ron broke it in two. (Just for revenge) He then conjured up fire and saved Hermione. She gave him a kiss and whispered, "My hero."

Now, we have come to:

THE END

(OR IS IT?)


End file.
